Fisting 101: What It Is, How to Do It Safely, and Tips for Beginners
Fisting is becoming more and more popular. It’s a sexual act that always made me curious, but mostly nervous. And a few months ago, I was surprised to discover… I really like it!
Whether you’ve heard about it in passing, seen it in porn, or are genuinely interested in trying it, you might have questions like:
👉 Is fisting safe?
👉 How do you prepare for it?
👉 Does it hurt?
👉 How can I bring it up with my partner?
The good news is that fisting can be an incredibly intimate, intense, and deeply pleasurable experience—when done correctly. This guide will cover everything you need to know about what fisting is, how to approach it safely, and how to communicate with your partner to ensure an enjoyable and positive experience.
What Is Fisting?
Fisting involves the insertion of a hand (or part of a hand) into the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure. While it may sound extreme, it’s all about gradual stretching, relaxation, and deep trust between partners.
For some, fisting is appealing because of:
🔥 Intense sensations – Slow stretching can create deep, full-body pleasure.
🔥 Emotional connection – Requires deep trust and communication between partners. (This is my personal favorite! I’ve had some of the most intimate connections and the best laughter while fisting).
🔥 Power and surrender dynamics – Can enhance BDSM and dominance/submission play.
Is Fisting Safe?
Yes—when done properly. The biggest risks with fisting come from going too fast, not using enough lubrication, or failing to communicate boundaries. Safe fisting is all about:
✅ Relaxation & Preparation – The body needs time to adjust and open up gradually.
✅ Lubrication – A lot of lube is essential to prevent discomfort or injury.
✅ Communication – Partners should check in constantly to ensure comfort. Use. Your. Words.
✅ Slow, Gentle Movements – Rushing can cause pain, so patience is key. The more patient you are, the longer you’ll be able to last.
How to Prepare for Fisting
1. Talk About It First
Before trying fisting, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about:
What excites you about it
Any fears or concerns
Your boundaries and safe words
If you’re unsure how to bring up fisting, I specialize in helping people communicate their desires with confidence! Book a private session to learn how to talk about kinks without fear or shame.
2. Use LOTS of Lube
Fisting requires thicker, long-lasting lubricants. There are 3 types of lube:
💦 Water-based lube (good for easy cleanup)
💦 Silicone-based lube (lasts longer, ideal for extended play)
💦 Hybrid lube (a mix of water and silicone for the best of both worlds)
XLube is one of the most popular brands.
Never attempt fisting without proper lubrication—it’s essential for comfort and safety.
3. Start Slow and Breathe
Begin with one or two fingers and gradually work up.
Most people take a month or two to practice stretching their hole(s) with multiple fingers and graduating to larger toys before taking a human fist. You wouldn’t expect yourself to do the splits without ever practicing before would you? It’s the same for fisting.
Use circular motions and stretching techniques like Dr Carlton’s Butt Clock Technique to help the body adjust.
Focus on deep breathing and relaxation to ease any tension.
Play sober. Drugs and alcohol numb the body making it more likely for you to exceed your physical limits and accidentally injure yourself/your partner. Plus, when you numb pain, you also numb pleasure. And you don’t want to miss out on the pleasure do you?
4. Listen to Your Body
Fisting should never feel painful or forced. If there’s discomfort:
🚨 Pause and take a break
🚨 Use more lube
🚨 Slow down or go to stretching exercises
🚨 Above all, communicate openly with your partner
Fisting Positions for Comfort & Control
Certain positions make fisting easier and more enjoyable, such as:
🔹 On the back with legs spread – Allows for easy access and comfort.
🔹 On all fours – Good for deep penetration and partner control.
🔹 Squatting – Helps the body naturally relax and open up.
Experiment with different positions to find what feels best.
Aftercare: Why It’s Important
Fisting can be emotionally and physically intense, so aftercare is essential.
💖 Hydrate and rest – Give your body time to recover.
💖 Cuddle, talk, or check in – Emotional support helps maintain intimacy.
💖 Use soothing products – Aloe-based gels or warm baths can help relax muscles. Use Butt-Balm from de•bäCHerē, the first FDA approved anal repair ointment formulated to effectively repair your ass hole after fisting (not for vaginal use).
💖 Check in the next day – After intense play it is normal to experience a ‘come down’ due to endorphin levels dropping.
Final Thoughts: Fisting Is About Trust, Patience, and Pleasure
Fisting can be an intensely pleasurable and intimate experience when approached with care. Whether you’re new to the idea or looking to refine your technique, the key to safe and satisfying fisting is:
✔ Communication – Talk about boundaries, desires, and comfort levels.
✔ Preparation – Work your way up by stretching daily over the course of a month or two.
✔ Patience – Use plenty of lube and start slowly.
✔ Mutual trust – Ensure both partners feel comfortable and excited.
🖤 Want expert guidance on how to explore fisting safely and confidently? I help people explore kink, overcome shame, and communicate their needs in a way that strengthens intimacy. As someone with experience fisting I can also provide you with practical knowlege and techniques to make your fisting experience a success. Book a free and private intro session with me today.
💖 Don’t forget aftercare! Keep things comfortable and irritation-free with Butt Balm—the only FDA-approved aftercare balm designed to soothe soreness, swelling, and discomfort after anal play, fisting, pegging, and more. Its patented transdermal formula provides antiseptic, analgesic, anesthetic, and anti-inflammatory benefits to help you recover faster and get back to the fun!